Rudy Giuliani comes clean, “I have many powers.”

In a stunning revelation at a press conference today, republican presidential contender Rudy Giuliani announced to the world that he possesses a vast array of mental powers, including psychic abilities, telekinesis and lightning bolts. This stunning revelation was prompted by recent reports that the taxpayer funded chauffeur services and protection she received predated the undisclosed “threats” which Giuliani claimed were the reason for her being afforded such special treatment.

The story broke early on December 7th, and a spokesman for the Giuliani campaign told reporters that a statement would be issued at 10:30 that morning. The press conference was located at the mouth of a large cave deep within central park. At 10:30 exactly a bolt of lightning struck the podium, the shock of which shorted out several reporters recording devices, and when the smoke finally cleared, Rudy Giuliani was standing at the podium.

Ladies and gentlemen of the press, welcome to my central sanctum. As many of you now know, it has been revealed that I instructed the NYPD through then Police Commissioner, Bernie Kerik, to provide transportation and security Ms. Nathan well in advance of any actual threats being made on her life. I must confess the truth, I did lie to the press, but only to preserve secrets which I can keep no longer. Secrets such as the fact that I can see into the future at least enough to foretell… well, not everything, but at the very least vague threats. Whether or not they’re true… not so much, which explains the security detail. Second! Well, you saw the entrance, I guess that actually makes it first, but the point is I can shoot lightning–outdoors… if it’s cloudy… and close to my cave.

Giuliani went on for another forty minutes, describing how amazing each of of many powers are, though some in the crowd were not so impressed. Once Giuliani finished his opening remarks, reporters were invited to ask questions. This session lasted only a moment, though as the first question pertained to why Giuliani’s powers didn’t help in preventing the tragedy of 9–AAAAAHAHGGH!!!

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Here’s to a Post-Bush Mentality

Just have to make sure this is in my own personal echo chamber, from Hunter over at DailyKos:

There’s only so long you can go being scared out of your wits, and then it gets old, and a routine becomes established. It gets a bit harder to be scared. It gets a lot harder to be scared on cue, certainly, in accordance with whatever we’re supposed to be most afraid of for one particular speech, or one particular campaign stop. And, at long last, you want the people who are in charge of scaring you — er, sorry, “protecting” you — to begin treating things at least with the same seriousness as you are.

I think that’s maybe the beginnings of the post-post-9/11 world that Wolcott is pondering, a one in which the same old political ploys are perhaps taken, finally, to be as offensive as they actually are. It’s not a question of complacency, but simple sturdiness: we will not be afraid of every shadow, we will deal with each day as it comes and try to fight against terrorism with something a bit more substantial than mindless arm-waving. The American population knows the score, and wants grownups in charge — not people that are still, after five and a half years, running around telling us that in spite of their five and a half years of effort, if we only give them more support, and violate a few more laws, and invade a few more countries, it will all work out great.

Collectively, we need to start thinking about what the post-post-9/11 world looks like, a world where terrorism will certainly still exist. It can either be a world of arm-waving fear, or a world of informed resolve, and I think I have a strong preference which of those two things I’d rather hoist the American flag over.

My anxiety and terror after 9/11 led me to the blogs to start learning about what the fuck was going on. My subsequent anger over what Bush was saying and doing in response to it, including Iraq of course, led me to supporting Howard Dean in 2004. His and eventually Kerry’s loss envigorated me all the more to set things right, and with 2006 we finally regained some footing. I think this country’s definitely going to be headed towards a progressive upswing after the nightmare we have collectively witnessed. And it’s not even finished yet. No matter what, it’s safe to say that W. has secured himself a legacy alright, and I don’t even have to type it for you to know what I’m talking about.

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Unions are worse than terrorists

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – The U.S. Senate began debating legislation to bolster America’s security on Wednesday with the White House threatening a veto because one part would extend union protection to 45,000 airport workers.

President George W. Bush’s administration charged that the Democratic-backed provision to provide workers limited collective bargaining rights would curb needed flexibility at the U.S. Transportation Security Administration and diminish traveler safety.

…

But White House spokesman Scott Stanzel said if the labor provision remains in the legislation, “the president’s senior advisers would recommend he veto the bill.”

Thirty-six Republican senators sent a letter to Bush on Tuesday saying they would provide the needed votes to sustain a veto in the 100-member Senate.

It’s a very simple equation. Work for a living? Not a millionaire? I think I’ll let Patton Oswalt make my point for me:

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Not Another 9/11 Conspiracy Theory

This film, 9/11 Press for Truth, is no conspiracy theory, it’s an indictment of our media for not taking the time to assemble the pieces. Nowhere in this piece do the filmmakers make any unsubstantiated claims or indulge in wild speculation. All this video does is what our media should be doing, which is merely ASKING QUESTIONS and threading together concrete information.

If you’re typically skeptical of stuff like this, then we have that in common. I’ve seen Loose Change and I didn’t find it very compelling–too many loose ends and tenuous conclusions. What makes this documentary stand out to me is the fact that very little of the information in it was a surprise to me. It relies almost entirely on mainstream news sources and interviews. If you only watch one damn clip I post on this blog, watch this.

Hat Tip to jeremiasx.

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